“How Many people live in the world today”
– 7.442 Billion (2016)
“How Many people live in Paris, today”
– 2,241 million
How many people are staring back at me, right now
Sometimes your only company is your mirror. It’s your eyes looking back at you. Looking back at the mirror. Looking back at everything that has happened right up to this point
This face to face
This me to me.
From connecting, to connections: an autobiography about my perception of my surroundings thus far.
When you are in kindergarten, you connect in playgrounds. From when we are only a few months old, we are put into classes with a few other few year olds, and are encouraged to play, to share, and to discover one another. To connect in the harmless and innocent way few year olds do.
and then you’re in high school, and you connect in classes. You are put into classrooms where you are encouraged and expected to connect with people who are also around your age, going through what you are going through, turning in the same papers you have to turn in, sometimes earlier than you, sometimes a little later. Most 5-6-7teen year olds want to connect during those times. Some 5-6-7teen year olds are desperate to connect at those times.
and then you get to university and you start connecting in levels. You either connect on that I-want-you-to-meet-my-parents level, or that let’s-take-a-vacation-together level. You also connect at this-is-my-first-coffee-with-you-but-let’s-never-do-this-again level.
That let’s-hangout-sometime-level, that I-see-you-in-the-halls-but-I-don’t-even-know-your-major-and-I-never-had-the-time-to-try-to level. That-he-looks-cute-but-I-think-he’s-way-younger-than-me level.
That sister level. That stranger level,
That I-only-met-you-that-one-time-at-a-local-bar-but-we-really-hit-it-off-and-I-never-saw-you-again-level. That I-wished-I-met-you-sooner-level. That I-wish-we-never-met level. That I-will-probably-invite-you-to-my-wedding-someday level,
and many other levels leading you to suddenly leave your university with half a heart and most importantly, half a conversation. Half a laugh because of all the time you thought you had but here you are on a plane back home. You left so many conversations on hold back then that you were sure you were going to continue. There were many more nights to be shared, and many more sways I would’ve liked to have.
To anyone feeling like they left in the middle of the conversation, just letting you know that I did too. I think more than a few did, even if they don’t admit it openly in a blog post. On the upside, you can still hear them when you go back. but how can you understand anything with only half of the conversation?
Here I am looking at my only companion today, my sweet one in 2 million (could be romantic, could be very, very sad); completely flabbergasted at how apparently participating in the “adult-lead” world means that connecting slowly turns into connections, where people don’t advise you to “be friendly” in classrooms anymore. You just, exist. You’ve been launched into the world, and apparently “connections” are pretty much 87% of the people you know, and you just collect little meaningless connections like tokens you can add on your Linkedin profile to prove to the face of the earth that I know people. I connected. I’ve been connecting my whole life and we’ve connected so hard that they endorsed me.
I really hope that once you get to that stage of your life when you are in constant contact with adults, and have contracts to sign and have to worry about something called “time management” and “house tax” and “passing out at 10:30 because your mind says 22 but your body says nah fam a little over 45”; I really hope you’d’ve connected by then. Because (besides personal achievement and goals and inner peace), it is the only thing that will matter, and that will ever feel real. Genuine care, love, warmth, passion, desire, pride and the pure joy of seeing someone else succeed because you love them so much it physically hurts you, that is the only thing that will ever feel real.
Including (but not exclusive to) your money, your apartment, your car, your money, your job, your vacation, your money, it all goes, don’t worry, if you decide to save it not spend a dime, your government eventually will! lol JK pls don’t kick me out.
Anyway your money goes!
what was the point of this again?
It’s just funny how the only real thing you’ll ever experience has colors and shapes you’ve never seen before. Life has a real funny way of showing you what doesn’t matter right in front of your face and on your radio and in your car and on your screen, and leaving everything that actually does, to your precious imagination.
I only hope my memory lasts long enough for me to remember you after you’ve gone. I hope you will remember me, too.