8 reasons why waxing in Lebanon is human cruelty

More appropriately called Waxing in Dubai vs waxing in Lebanon.

Boys look away as I’m about to unveil the dark secrets behind women’s rituals.

  1. Booking a waxing appointment in Dubai is like whispering secrets to your diary. It’s confidential and done with extreme discretion. If you book a waxing appointment in Lebanon chances are the manager will shout “UNDERARM AND BIKINI LINE WAX!” back to you like she was repeating your order at McDonalds. There come the judgmental stares of all the women only getting their nails done.
  1. In Dubai, you will often find places specifically for waxing and treading services, nothing else. In Lebanon chances are your appointment will be mixed in with the people lining up for manis and pedis.
  1. In Dubai the appointment happens on time, the wax lady providing the service never leaves your room until she is done, there are no interruptions for any reason. She makes everything easier by asking you how you are and if the wax is too hot. In Lebanon the wax lady makes sure to point out the fact that you are hairier than most her clients. She also might answer a few phone calls in one hand while she pulls your skin in the other, and will casually let her 6 year old in the waxing room because she was “calling for her mommy”. So you’re stuck there wondering if your uncomfortably lifted arms and half-naked body will stay imprinted in the child’s memory when she grows up and will cause her psychological harm in the process.
  1. In Dubai no other person walks in the room until my appointment is done. The door is always locked. In Lebanon I don’t exactly remember the last time they shut the door when things were going down. Multiple other customers walking by made sure to take a good look, and people working around the salon too.
  1. I’ve been waxing for about six years now and have gotten used to how things were done in Dubai. The wax never really hurts uncontrollably. The worst pain is probably a slight pinch on your arms; otherwise it’s all bearable. In Lebanon, for the same services, you will feel pain you’ve never felt in your life. It will look as if someone abused you with fire. Your arms will stay numb for at least the next five minutes, you won’t feel your face anymore and your upper lip will look like it was splattered with rouge lipstick your toddler decided to color you with, because they rip your skin off without mercy and you feel like she’s angry with you when she waxes you, it’s like she thinks of all the bad things that have happened to her this week and lashes out on your arms. It’s therapy for her and a punishment for you.
  1. In Dubai the wax ladies are called “Technicians”, and while booking your appointment they ask you if you have “a preferred technician” so you would be at ease with them. In Lebanon there’s probably only 1-2 people that do the waxing, they could be the manager, co-manager or hair dresser that has nothing to do for now, so you are not going to “build a relationship/trust” of any kind with them in order to keep your hairiness to themselves. No. Chances are their cousins know how many hairs there are under your arms and will blackmail you for it.
  1. In Dubai they use some sort of a waxing pot and wooden sticks to get the wax on your skin, there’s a big sign above the pot saying “NO DOUBLE DIPPING” and they use individual strips to un-wax you. In Lebanon they use something called “the machine of doom”. It’s basically a machine-looking object with a rolling surface on its end where you roll the plastic on the skin to get the wax on. No pot, no dipping wooden sticks into anything, just caressing you really hard with that machine. It’s 65% of the reason why your arms will feel numb/extreme pain. The explanation behind its use is its time saving efficiency, and may God save your pores.
  1. In Dubai, it feels like a service is being provided to you. You make an appointment, sit in a waiting room, get to pick your favorite technician, expect full discretion and leave with less money and hair. In Lebanon we lack the “service” side of things. People are afraid, or maybe too proud to admit the service to you. They won’t smile at you and thank you for your visit. They will help you with the groceries only because there’s a slight chance money might come out in the process. No one helps you for the image of their shop or in hopes you’ll return again, they will not consider themselves “beneath you” although this isn’t the case at all. They will judge you and show you they’re judging you. It’s a shame really.

So either way that’s all the unbearable weight I’ve been carrying on my shoulders for the past couple of months. It’s still very rare for me now to go through the same experiences again but some things are a must, our attractiveness steps down a few levels when our moustache becomes an accessory to our face, much like our sunglasses. So to all Lebanese women I’m truly sorry for what you have to go through to look approachable, next time you go to Dubai make sure to check out the waxing salons, it will be a nice change from the usual horror.

 

 

 

 

 

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