From the small airplane windows i see her looking down at the grass yet again leaving. As i leave her hand once again and her voice leaves my head once again and i wish i could share another morning with you or atleast some popcorn while we talk about anything, just anything let me talk to you again and see you slightly nod as if to say you agree because it bluntly shows when you don’t, piercing your lips and your eyebrows. Do memories like that run through your mind right now in that uncomfortable seat of yours the way they run through my eyes in the car?
Because not sitting next to you is a horrible misunderstanding in life and not hearing you passionately talk about how this country should be better is like taking away my cup of Nesquick in the morning because i have never met a better cup of someone in my life. With a sprinkle of sugar the way you order it.Sweet but salty when you need to be, mom you cant leave me again! I know you have to and i know they miss you and you miss them and it’s a whole ball of missing but i miss you every time I wake up, and i do that everyday. And I miss you when any door opens and there are a lot of doors in the world and missing rushes over me every time i brush my hair or make my bed or sing in the car cause I only want you to be the driver annoyingly listening to my yelling and you being the hand that stretches the bed sheets to their greatest distance and you knowing how to untangle hair that’s been toyed and twirled with. I wouldn’t read this to you cause my voice would break into a lot of hopeless pieces, and at the same time i don’t have to read this to you or write this to you cause you already know every word sentence comma and full stop. You know which words ill use and how the sentences will follow each other cause truly enough I’ve written this a million times, this same letter and the same words, I’m sure you’ve learned this by heart by now but it’s my anthem.
I hope you return safe and know while looking out your plain plane window i will still be annoyingly singing and complaining about the world by your side.



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