I wish time would be stuck on 9:19 pm right now.
Even when I’m writing I feel like time is passing by in a flash, I always need to be doing something else, studying, projects, connecting, talking, thinking. Everything takes up so much time. Just stop the clock right now and watch for a moment. Things don’t have to literally stop. It’s not a bird-just-stopped-in-mid-air type of moment. It’s more that man in the suit suddenly doesn’t seem so tense to get to wherever he’s going, or that lady waiting in front of the school finally stopped looking at her watch so much. A lot of things would be different if time stopped just right now. Instead of writing for like five minutes I’d write for days. Sometimes time should give us some time. Tongue twister much?
Time should give us time to think and to feel. To decide and then re-decide and decide again until you lost track of your decisions and fall right where you need to be. Time should stop, and give you time to think about the people you haven’t thought of in a long time. It’s not that you don’t care for them anymore, you still smile when you hear of them, but you’ve been racing lately and too tired at night to start anything. So sleep it off till the next month or year until you forget the number you used to know by heart and the last name you’ve learnt to pronounce in different ways and accents.
If time should stop, let it give you some time to feel proud of yourself for all you’ve accomplished, and forgive yourself from the mistakes you’ve learnt to let pass by in your mind because you could give no more effort into regret. Let’s keep in mind it’s still 9:19pm. Time is being very generous by giving you time to realize you were wrong at one point, to know that sometimes you should be wrong. Think of that song that makes you want to shut everyone up and make them listen, at 9:19pm, to a song that could play on for hours without you noticing it anymore, it turned into a part of your environment. It is your chairs and your bed, your mug and nightlight. it’s that stack of papers you keep on your desk, it’s your favorite pair of shoes. It’s in the oxygen you’re letting into your lungs right this moment while you’re reading. It’s the hiccup you wanted rid of last week. Oh how nice it would feel, to be and stay at 9:19pm.
I’m listening to that song right now and I bet you can hear it too.
I hope you can anyways.